Five Bitter Prayers

by Ryan Gibson

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released June 8, 2013

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Ryan Gibson Frederick, Maryland

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Track Name: Never A Moment Of Peace
You're an orphan of the world
Born without a spine
And how do you cope with that?
With never a moment of peace.
I take it all in stride
I never have to hide
I take it all with ease
And never a moment of peace.
I guess I'd rather rape myself
With shit that recycles itself
And excretes the same damned things
Never a moment of peace.
You'll always know my whereabouts
Below this black fucking cloud
And I'm a show-stopping queen
Never a moment of peace.
Track Name: Ivy
What I call my home
Is a structure of brittle bones
Coarse, black hair and incomparable pain
That never shows.

You fall through the floor
And climb back like some evil ivy
All over me
While I'm trying to get over you.

You left your shrouded spectre lingering
In the mirror
I laugh and try to deny that the air
Is full of terror.

You pass through the walls
Because you just like fucking with me
I don't care at all
If you never leave.

Fighting for my life
Between what I want and what I know is right
Is that clear at all?
Because I'm through explaining.
Track Name: Numb Poetry
I'm dying of boredom
Lying on the floor with an ear to the ground
All the kids have gone home now
And there's no comfort in novels and walls of sound.

Offering the world numb poetry
Of sleeping cows and dumb pastoral scenes
Burn all of your notebooks, pawn your guitar
'Cause you know what you aren't.

You're getting too old now
To be picking fights with everyone
And she's teaching you how
How to make her priority number one

And your love is as sterile
As an instrument used to remove a heart
And your thinking is narrow
And you wither and wilt in the dark.
Track Name: Only Beautiful
You're ugly in the way you smile at other people's pain
While my dreams get flushed away down the landlord's drain
And you're horrid in the sense that you measure me in dollars and cents
It was a fact you kept secret when we were just friends.

You're only beautiful when you dream
You're only beautiful when you sleep
You're only beautiful.

My heart has grown cold, and your tears are getting old
'Cause they're only a last-ditch effort at getting control
And you're wretched with concern to all the credit you feel you deserve
And your bright hopes for our future are fucking absurd.

You're only beautiful when you dream
You're only beautiful when you sleep
You're only beautiful when you dream

I'm only happy when....
I drive through the morning mist and for a moment forget I exist
With a song upon my lips and you are not there.

I'm taking off tonight while you sleep
We'll both be better off when I leave
You be a brave girl and forget me
Like I was only a trail of vapor in your dreams.
Track Name: Virgin Snow
I became airborne when I crossed the threshold of your doorway
And out into the virgin snow
For years I have been adrift, bound to nothing, no one
but a frail ghost of one I loved long ago.

All in a dream
When these ruthless memories rush back to me
Your laughter chiming mellifluously
Your movements graceful, slow and serene.

Everything is different now, and what I thought was everything
Was farcical from your end, and I should've known
Through every bridge I've burned, and everyone I've left behind
I thought you'd be ahead of me, frozen in time.

All in my mind
These deluded hopes that God would provide
Some shining day when our fates collide
But it's clear I'm only wasting my time.